Minggu, 26 Februari 2012

a strange night

Hi. it's 03:34 here. and let me act like I'm talking to you.
No, It doesn't mean I've no sleep. I just woke up. And couldn't sleep anymore because of hearing their activites tonight. I mean, "they". I just hear the sound of shuffling and other noise. and the voice of my wall clock sounds very scary. it's very different from my previous night.
And the point is, you still asleep. Still sleeping beauty, accompany your brother, who got sick. And well, get well really soon, Dek.
I don't know what should I post, by the way. I just need to kill my time till you woke up and I feel better. So I can tell you everything.
Well, I don't know why you still want to accompany me, you even always know the time when I heard something like tonight, or the time when I got a bad mood, or the time when I got a good score, or the time when I got a hard feeling, and -I don't know what should I say- Everything.
Well, dear my love, we all know you aren't good in knowing about something. We all know the fact and your feeling always opposite. sorry to say, Dear :p
As we said, I'm super in knowing something due to my feeling and you're super in logic, right?
I don't know how to say anything anymore.
So you know, I'm good in knowing about something. And I'm even best in knowing about you. I don't know why. I don't know how. It just way beyond my vocabulary.
And all I know is, I love you.

with love,

N.

Senin, 20 Februari 2012

that feeling when...

when you feel like you want to punch your face with your hand. When you feel like you're being reprimanded too harsh. That feeling when you're talking with yourself, and yourself say:


"Nay, segini aja nih usahanya? Segini doang? Terima jadi doang? Ga haus ilmu Nay? Ga mau nambah lagi? Yakin? Mimpi aja sana mau masuk fakultas ini-itu, universitas ini-itu. Mimpi. Get real! Ibarat kata lo mau terbang tapi prepare dan berbagai cara untuk membuat sayapnya aja ga ada. Lo cuma berharap punya sayap tapi ga ada usaha. Lo cuma mimpi. If you want to reach something, start to make every possibilities to reach your dream. Start to open every way. It is better to have so many possibilities than have nothing. Stop pretending like you're the only one who want to get what you want to be. Stop acting like you're smart enough to reach your dream. You're nothing. You have nothing to prove. Start open-minded. You should. You have to. And I believe in you, Nay. Let's fight!" 

Then, Ah. I'm craving for science. I really am.

Minggu, 19 Februari 2012

well...

Dan ternyata, saya masih harus belajar banyak.
Belajar untuk mengetahui ada banyak hal didunia ini yang bahkan tidak saya ketahui.
Belajar untuk mengetahui bahwa ada hal yang tidak seharusnya dipaksakan tapi terjalankan.
Belajar untuk mengetahui bahwa perasaan itu begitu rumit, sangat rumit sampai membuat sesak.
Belajar untuk mengetahui bahwa ada hal yang memang harus dijalani meskipun sakit.
Belajar banyak.
Ya, saya harus belajar banyak.
Belajar menerima segala hal yang sudah digariskan kepada saya.
Belajar tahu banyak tentang apapun yang saya kubur dalam-dalam.
Belajar untuk mencoba menjalani hidup dan menerima realita, dan menjauhkan mimpi yang kadang harus disingkirkan demi kebaikan.


Saya belajar.
Selalu belajar.
Tapi kenapa kali ini sangat sulit?

what we should start from now on


Hai! I guarantee you're starting to guess what I mean when you read the title of my post.
well, it's what we should start from now on.
it's "Stop complaining, start receiving. Stop arguing, start loving. Life is good, somehow."
Just give me some minutes to explain what I mean, dear.

Stop complaining, start receiving.
"Why? Emang lo udah sebersih apa sampai bilang gini?" No. Gue bukan orang munafik yang akan diem aja kalau menemukan sesuatu yang nggak gue suka. Gue juga sama kayak kalian, gue suka complain -walaupun seringnya dalam hati- cuma karena gue benci perdebatan atau segala macam adu mulut. Tapi coba deh kalian belajar untuk menerima segala sesuatunya.
For a little example, lo baru aja ulangan math. Malamnya lo belajar susah payah supaya lo dapat nilai bagus. dan ternyata, nilai lo dibawah kkm. It sucks, I know. Dan lo akan mengeluarkan segala sumpah serapah karena nilai lo gak worth it, gak berbanding lurus dengan usaha lo. But see in another side. Segala sesuatu pasti ada hikmahnya, no matter how good or bad the thing is. Daripada capek-capek complain, mending coba untuk terima. Coba buat semacam perbaikan diri. Complain gak akan merubah hal buruk jadi bagus kan?

Stop arguing, start loving.
Nah, kalau untuk yang satu ini gue sangat setuju. Bukan berarti berdebat itu gak baik loh ya. Berdebat di pelajaran, atau hal positif sih gapapa. Cuma kadang kita terlalu maksain pendapat, sampai akhirnya perdebatan itu bisa jadi berantem. Gak jarang loh orang yang udah bersahabat sejak lama sampai berantem cuma gara gara berdebat. Cuma gara gara gak sejalan. Gak sepemikiran.
Well, let me remind you. Allah create us with every differences that we have. Gak semua orang pikirannya sama. Beda persepsi itu pasti. Nah sekarang segimana bisanya lo mencintai segala perbedaan, baik itu perbedaan persepsi, perbedaan sudut pandang, ya intinya sih segala perbedaan di hidup ini. Gak ada salahnya kan berhenti berdebat dan mencoba untuk mencintai hidup?

Life is good, somehow.
Ah. You may think that I'm a fool one. Lo mungkin berpikir "Good apanya, suck iya." Tapi coba ditelaah deh. Ketika lo berpikir bahwa hidup itu baik, hidup itu indah, lo akan dengan mudahnya tersenyum ketika lo menemukan hal kecil yang menyenangkan. Bahkan, melihat orang lain tersenyum aja lo bisa merasa bahagia. Menghirup udara pagi aja bisa membuat lo bahagia. Bahagia itu sederhana, kawan. Allah kurang baik apa sama kita.
Lain halnya kalau lo berpikir hidup lo ini menyedihkan, merana. Jangan harap mau nemuin kebahagiaan yang kecil. Kebahagiaan yang besar aja belum tentu bisa lo rasakan kalau mindset lo masih kayak gitu.
it is only a matter of mind. Nah, sekarang terserah lo mau pilih yang mana.

Ok, then. Thank you for reading this. I hope y'all start to do what I wrote.
And goodbye! I'm wishing your life will be blessed and don't ever stop to be thankful for everything that Allah give to you.

With love,

N.

"I'm craving for writing, dear"

Hai. I guess it's been a while since I've posted my recently post.
It feels so strange, so brand new. I don't know why.
but when I realize something, well, it's the true definition of new. so indeed.

That feeling when I can write everything without doubt.
That feeling when I can write everything without feeling so strange.
How I miss that feeling.
But it's gone.

And when I realize something, I really know what I feel.

I'm craving for writing.